I hear they're coming for me, because being at the top gets quite lonely

12 days till Christmas. (Cue music.)

A little high off the glass of red wine I just knocked back (for the perfect siesta, I assure you I'm not an alcoholic), I'm typing to you.. my global community. After several nights of sleeping in the AM's (when I say AM, I mean 6AM to be exact) my skin has become a display of my nasty habits, in happy matrimony with my mild rosacea, panda eyes and puffy eyebags.

Also, why is it everytime I need to buy something online, my mother and I get into a fight.. Coincidence? I think not.

I feel like I've hit an impasse. I'm getting questioned.. "Where have you been?" "Are we drifting?" "I feel like you're too busy for me lately.." I have answers to these questions, but not necessarily the most truthful or the right ones for that matter.

I can't decide whether it's the cabin fever that's taken its toll on me.. or if it's really me acting like a spinny bitch. I would hope it isn't the latter.. but if it is, I know why.

All I really have to say on this ordeal (an extremely trivial one at that), is Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. I will expand at another point in time.

All I want for Christmas is.. black Lita's, those lace-up wedges from UO, and a merry fucking Christmas. I'd like to extend the last one to everyone I know. xox!

Hmm.. it's almost 5:30AM. I'm definitely going to hate myself in the morning.

.. and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.*

girls girls girls

it honestly blows my mind of what girls are capable of. when guys rag on how girls are demons, i never hesitate to defend my feminine counterparts. believe me. i'm all against female oppression, i even wrote a speech on female genital mutilation and how it's sole purpose is to please men.

there's a reason why some girls just don't have many girlfriends... it's because they aren't good girlfriends. they don't follow girl protocol and they don't back up other girls. when your friend's boyfriend calls you and asks you what you honestly think of the girl he's dating, you're so supposed to have her back. i would never purposely make my girlfriend look bad, especially if it's a guy who's asking. when you start choosing guys over your girlfriends, that's when you fall into the same category as those who force the practice of genital mutilation.

if anyone has been keeping tabs on the Hills, i love kristin cavallari. i don't really care that she's dating justin bobby and it's breaking audrina's heart, because really, kristin gave her the chance to tell her straight up how she felt. but audrina pussied out and didn't even find the common courtesy to tell kristin that she wouldn't have lunch with her. kristin even stated that yes, when considering her friends, she follows the (unwritten) girl code.

well now it makes sense as to you why you just don't have very many girlfriends. i don't care what people say, the relationship between two girls is NOT the same as between a guy and girl. girls have that instinct, have that intuition, that guys just don't understand. we live on a backbone of basic principles and beliefs. it sounds ridiculous, but i don't deny it. every girl knows you're not supposed to wear the same halloween costume as last year...

i love my girlfriends. i'm incredibly lucky to have these people in my life, and i can say that i'm so glad that you're not of them. i'm so choked that i actually trusted you and saw you as someone i could confide in. but honestly, you're just one of those girls who will do anything to get a guy's attention and that's probably why you think what you're doing now is justified. you obviously don't respect our friendship or me.

and on behalf on someone who is supposed to be YOUR good friend, FUCK YOU. how dare you take private information between the two of you and pass it on to some guy you had a crush who decided to let everyone know about it? this sounds so highschool but it really REALLY pisses me off how you just ran your mouth like that. have you not any morals? do you just not take any of your friendships seriously and you'd rather fill an awkward silence with someone? get your priorities straight. what kind fo friend are you?

i'm telling you now that you're not a Mean Girl and that i hate you. but you need to get your priorities and you can gtfo of my life.

thanks for shitting on our friendship. TTYN.