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so i found out a few days ago that
one of my oldest and closest friends' mom
was diagnosed with cancer.

i've known this girl since we were 5
and we've been on and off best friends since we were 8.

i used to call her mom, my second mom
her home, my second home
her, my sister

what makes this all really tragic is the fact that
her dad died just two years ago
from the very same disease.
that was a few years of watching him die
several months of watching him deteriorate--mind and body alike

you'd think such an indestructible sickness would know how to disperse at a lower density level..

and all this news
made me think--
what's there really to be sad about in my life?

the fact that my hair has a red undertone, and not blonde?
how i'm unable to wear yellow tones in fear of looking jaundice?
how i am completely inept when any critical moment rolls around(/everything in life)..

when i think about the realities my friend has to face alone
everytime she goes to bed, everytime she wakes up in the morning
every single second of the fucking day--
it makes me want to laugh,
and ask God to give me something real to cry about.

Everyone needs to smile more.