a quickie

TBH: I never really understood what the F was going on in Le Petit Prince.. I read it when I was maybe 8 or 9 (more like had it read to me). It's on my list of must-reads before I die. I just remembered he was hella weird.. I mean, what if he's just another Christopher Boone?

This week has been slightly better than they usually come. Gorgeous weather, one of my fav's birthdays, seeing La Familia, no fights with my mom (it's been all love lately).. and then there's these gusts of people coming back into my life.

Like whaaaa--?

It's funny, because last week when Nicolle and I were talking on her patio, we stumbled upon the very subject of people trying to squeeze their way back into your life. It's because the night before, someone had asked me if we could have a "fresh start" and I straight up said, "I don't believe in fresh starts." Because I don't. A broken bone will never be as strong as it was before it was broken. There will always be ugly reminders and the awkward pause when you run over a touchy subject.

Anyways, I asked Nicolle if she believed in fresh starts and she said "Sometimes." She explained that it really depended on the person. If she loved the person, of course.. she'd want them back in her life too, despite some bad memories. On the contrary, if she was fed up with this person, she'd tell them to back the fuck up and don't get too close. Nobody wants to go through the same kind of hurt again.

And that's kinda how I'm feeling right now. I have on friend who I used love very much, and we got into a bad place where I just couldn't handle it. I'm a non-believer when it comes to being someone's best friend, and it's cutting it close for me when it comes to having several "best friends". Anyways, long story short, we had sooo many fights. So many rough patches. So many "let's make this work" and it just couldn't.

It seems as though now, we both realize, that the only thing we really needed was time. And time has really changed both of us. For the better though (Thank God). This is person is my "biased fresh start case". The next one is really irritating me.

I'm not sure if I'm more irritated with myself or with them. While it's comforting to have old friends back, it's also frustrating how you have filled their void and continued living your life, and then they just wanna waltz back in?

Like hell no. I got used to not having you around.

It's like going on menopause then having flow come to town. Like I thought you were GONE FOR GOOD and I WAS HAPPY TO SEE YOU GO, but now you're like "I will do anything to be your friend again." Um..

Who said I want anything to do with you?

It's called doing what's good for you, and even though you weren't so bad; I told myself that any person who walks out on their friend just because their girlfriend told them to, is a good boyfriend but no friend of mine. Close, but not quite.

I am GENERALLY a very forgiving person, and to be honest, I will probably forgive this douchebag in a few weeks.. but that doesn't mean things are going to be the same. I'm telling you now!!! *shakes fist* (Blogspot as my witness, and to whom it may concern.)

On a brighter note.. I'm in the midst of planning my 19th birthday and it's been breeze so far, thanks to my friends who have been ridiculously cooperative about it. My birthday falls smack in the middle of midterm season, not to mention my actual birthday is on a Tuesday; yet they've all promised they'd be there on my actual birthday and whatever other day I choose! They're either as amazing as I think they are or they're just a buncha party animals.. *shifty eyes*

I'm kidding.. I'm actually more touched than I should be about their cooperation and support. It's really annoying, but I can't help but say how much I love my group of friends. We've been friends since we were FIVE. They're legit my second family.. I wouldn't have it any other way then spending my time with them.

I'm off to bed, day 1 of my 3-midterms-in-a-row streak is about to begin ;) Wouldn't miss that for the world..

Even bad memories have a place in a good life.