Too blessed to be stressed

butterflies. sweet kisses. deep kisses. Asian kisses. tummy rubs. neck nuzzles. face nuzzling. biting, lots of biting. swoon (the scarlett ohara kind). lift me off my feet--literally. piggy backs that lead to near choking. laughter. smile. kiss. shake hands. hold hands. hold both hands. hug. squeeze (attempt to suffocate). tickle. laugh. laugh. laugh. wrestle. fight. yell. hurt. dislike. the simple act of giving a shit... no more yelling. long talks. sleepless nights [on the phone]. the world is finally at peace.. rise and grind.  smile. sunshine (even when it's not sunny). blessed. rejoice. happy.  rinse, repeat.

Like the sun, won't you stay..

All kinds of beautiful that end my day.

Period Talk

As a small attempt in hoping my period comes sooner, I have switched into my Blackberry case and will start eating copious amounts of ice cream. I need my period to arrive already, because I'm in need of reassurance in my most recent emotionally-driven antics.

Y'all know you're officially cray cray when you start admitting to your antics..

My boyfriend is taking a lot of the heat. He's annoyingly accepting of this entire process; he went as far as to say, "Baby.. Are you on your period? I know around the second week of the month is when your cycle starts."

Bitch, please. I am not on my period.

Yet.

I want me some fucking ice cream!!!!!!!

What's Missing

"Ce qui manque" as Chu puts it.

Writing my paper, waiting for my coffee buzz to die down.. stalking my ex-boyfriend on Facebook for a little bit (don't act like you never).. I think I know what's missing.

No. It's not him (Thank God).

At least not him per se. It's more as though, while I was looking at pictures of him (DON'T ACT LIKE YOU NEVER), I asked myself "How much did I love him again?" Did the last few years really revolve around him?

It seems like it never happened at all. It seems non-existent. Or otherwise, insignificant and frivolous.

My heartstrings no longer pull at the sight of him. The chronic feelings of jealousy have completely dissipated in his wake. All feared prospects of previous attachment is gone. I'm free.

I should feel exhilerated. I should be running down the street, screaming at the top of my lungs that I've finally mentally and emotionally let you go.

If you wanna fly,

you gotta let go of the shit that weighs you

down.

But I don't. I feel half-empty. I don't even know whether it's a void that needs to be filled or not; I just know that right now it is wasting away. Abandoned and left to die. I wanna say it's becoming obsolete.. but how can I go and say that when I am in a relationship with someone who is desperately trying make things work?

He is sweet. And honest. And caring. And captivating. And funny. And smart. And strong. And thoughtful. What is wrong with me? Clearly, I am unappreciative. And thoughtless. And inconsiderate. And insulting. And out of my mind.

How is it that I feel like my insides are dead? As though my heart has stopped beating and incapable of  feeling that magic that only people who are really love feel.

What I'm trying to say is that, my heartstrings to pull for anyone anymore. What does this mean?

Think for me.

x, K

March

oat fudge bar
sleep
jillian michaels
squats
sunday funday
matsuyumyum
spicy sashimi sauce.. bomb diggity
Asian kiss x 100
temple
romaine hearts
fighting
new dresses
my brother turns 18--one more year before the nights of debauchery begin
enoki mushrooms and garlic
my mexican tan is still here, bitches!!!
GRIND
firemen
earthquake
starbucks
wedged heels
tickle-me-elmo and the cookie monster
team JMTS
#winning

Love & Happiness

So silly, that's why we laugh

"One day, I'm going to call you and ask you to run away with me. This is my disclaimer."

Hahahahaha, girlfrannn.

All that bullshit's for birds
And you ain't nothin' but a vulture

Let me lay it out for you. It doesn't matter how much weight you lose, how fake your falsies are, or how pearly the sheen is off your CoverGirl-splat face. I know an ugly bitch when I see one.


Inside and out.